...Aging
As my birthday came and went as usual I was not so excited. I am not afraid of death at all, but I am not looking forward to it as well. Why? Failure. Failure to achieve any any of my goals no matter how real or unreal they might have been. Failure is like the death of my soul. It is bad enough that my inner artist is slowly dying daily, but to die and have everything go undone is horrible. Beyond that aging period is not so great. You are older, but how much older do you want to be? You have your 1st birthday, 10th, 13th, 16th, 18th, 20th, 21st, 25th (if you care about renting a car), 30th, 35th (if you want to run for president), 40th, 50th, 65th and everything after that is just inching closer to death. I mean half of those birthdays are not even that major and in my case a lot of them will not be that major. I would not mind getting older if I could see the results of whatever it is that I am doing, but I cannot so I mind. I this pointless stress over something silly? Probably, but it is not my fault. We are pushed from the time we are babies to excel and grow and become the best at whatever we do at an early age. If you can read, you had better be reading at least 2 grade levels ahead of your actual grade or else you may have a learning disorder. If you can talk, you must be able to speak properly and spell properly or else you may have to get speech lessons. By the time you start high school you should already know what you
want to be int he future and if you do not then you might as well get ready to serve burgers to your friends because you are almost an adult and the fun and games are over. What are these fun and games? The games that are education based? The fun that is centered around school? In the future will babies be expected to feed and change themselves? Will children ever be allowed to have true fun and have no 0 worries? I doubt it. We are trying to compete against countries that are trying to compete against us. Countries that excel in certain areas and fail miserably in almost every other category that matters. So aging for me is nothing new. It started as soon as I could walk and talk, that is when the world said you are a big boy, a little man. That is when I was expected to learn and if I was not learning then I was wasting time. You cannot stop aging, but you can hold it off for a little, that is something I wish I could have done then, but now I am on the slippery slope and it is happening fast. I must give aging a Digit Down.
As my birthday came and went as usual I was not so excited. I am not afraid of death at all, but I am not looking forward to it as well. Why? Failure. Failure to achieve any any of my goals no matter how real or unreal they might have been. Failure is like the death of my soul. It is bad enough that my inner artist is slowly dying daily, but to die and have everything go undone is horrible. Beyond that aging period is not so great. You are older, but how much older do you want to be? You have your 1st birthday, 10th, 13th, 16th, 18th, 20th, 21st, 25th (if you care about renting a car), 30th, 35th (if you want to run for president), 40th, 50th, 65th and everything after that is just inching closer to death. I mean half of those birthdays are not even that major and in my case a lot of them will not be that major. I would not mind getting older if I could see the results of whatever it is that I am doing, but I cannot so I mind. I this pointless stress over something silly? Probably, but it is not my fault. We are pushed from the time we are babies to excel and grow and become the best at whatever we do at an early age. If you can read, you had better be reading at least 2 grade levels ahead of your actual grade or else you may have a learning disorder. If you can talk, you must be able to speak properly and spell properly or else you may have to get speech lessons. By the time you start high school you should already know what you
want to be int he future and if you do not then you might as well get ready to serve burgers to your friends because you are almost an adult and the fun and games are over. What are these fun and games? The games that are education based? The fun that is centered around school? In the future will babies be expected to feed and change themselves? Will children ever be allowed to have true fun and have no 0 worries? I doubt it. We are trying to compete against countries that are trying to compete against us. Countries that excel in certain areas and fail miserably in almost every other category that matters. So aging for me is nothing new. It started as soon as I could walk and talk, that is when the world said you are a big boy, a little man. That is when I was expected to learn and if I was not learning then I was wasting time. You cannot stop aging, but you can hold it off for a little, that is something I wish I could have done then, but now I am on the slippery slope and it is happening fast. I must give aging a Digit Down.
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